Konnichiwa. I’m
posting for the first time in a long time! This post is about how you refer to
yourself: “watashi,” “boku,” or “ore”. This is a very basic topic.
I’ll start with a simple
question.
Watashi: Used by women. Also used by men at work.
Boku, ore: Used by men.
When do men use “watashi” and when do
they use “boku” and “ore”? As mentioned above, men
use “watashi” to show politeness at
work. “Watashi” gives the impression of
a working adult, so I don’t think students need to use it.
However,
this doesn’t simply mean only boys
or male students use “boku” and “ore”.
Boku, ore: Used by boys. Also used by adult men.
It’s
important to understand this point. I sometimes meet non-Japanese people who don’t know this — in particular, male foreign
students in high school or college want to look mature and tend to prefer “watashi”. But when they say “watashi wa”, I always find it awkward. I
think they should go with “boku” or “ore” while they’re a student and switch to “watashi” when they begin to work.
Moreover, working Japanese men don’t always refer to themselves
with “watashi”. They do so at work, but use “boku” or “ore” casually when they talk to
family or friends.
Boku, ore: Used by boys or male students all the time.
Used by male adults when they talk to family or
friends.
Watashi:
Used by male adults at work.
The next point is about how to differentiate
between “boku” and “ore”. “Ore” sounds rougher, but “boku” doesn’t sound cute or girly. Please remember this clarification.
How do Japanese boys or men select one or the other? I
think it depends on their taste or which one fits them better. Since they are
native Japanese speakers, they can make an appropriate choice more easily, and whichever is chosen, it never seems
odd to me.
But, honestly speaking, when I hear a non-Japanese
man using “ore”, I sometimes feel it’s a bit strange because “ore” has a certain roughness to it. So, I recommend “boku” just to be safe. (This
is just my personal opinion, though.)
We tend to think casual
language is easier than formal language, but actually, casual language is also
difficult. Polite Japanese is hard because its terms, grammar and usages are
complicated. On the other hand, the nuances and connotations of casual
expressions are hard to understand.
There is a common element between “watashi, boku and ore” and “oishii, umai and ume-” (which are three different ways
to say “delicious”).
Oishii: Used by everyone.
Umai: Sounds masculine and rough, but
sometimes used by women.
Ume-: Not used by women. Sounds a bit crude used
by even men, but might be no problem if it’s used properly.
However, it might be difficult for a
non-native speaker to determine the right situation for “ume-”. Thus, if men say “oishii” or “umai” and women say “oishii”, it would sound appropriate
and carry no risk.
However, I feel bad when
I write such things. Today, we shouldn’t define masculinity or femininity
in such rigid ways. So, you should choose the way of speaking you prefer. At
the same time, I think it’s important to know what
impression you’re
giving to others based on who you’re talking to and what
kind of situation you’re in.
Watching
TV or movies will help you learn which words or expressions are commonly used and
also provide a better understanding of contexts in which they are used. I
recommend the Japanese animated series “Aggretsuko”!
Every character has a different personality and social status, so each one
speaks Japanese differently. On top of that, you can learn Japanese culture,
too.
Our world is in a critical situation. We all should be responsible for our own behaviors. Please stay healthy!
